Taking the leap.

Have you ever reached a point where,, you feel like an overloading computer..you want to achieve all these goals in a limited span of time because you fear time is catching up with you quickly? I mean, you are no longer a teenager, you are at the point of adulthood.  What does it really mean being an adult?
You are edging closer to your mid twenties and your portfolio has only two things. You graduated with a degree, and you still live with your parents. The pressure that falls on us not to reach this inescapable reality😢.
You always had a talent in high school. You came to campus and things changed. A musician; they called you. But you found out that it was worthless and not in line with your career choice. But your friends are already making it big..dropping hits and getting constant gigs. The system created this fear in you; you became overly dependent on this career path and forgot your talent. You forgot what it really feels to be alive.
And time doesn’t slow down really. One moment you are this naive twenty year old..the next you are someone’s parent. Can we really achieve everything we ever wish to do if we are afraid to let go sometimes? Is jumping off the cliff to the unknown really an option?
The world knows how to paint rainbow and glamour, but at the same time, it also paintsw shades of grey.

Advertisements

Unexpected.


“You are bleeding,” he kept saying as I laid back watching the stars above with complete calmness. “You are bleeding!” I held my lower abdomen; my hand was covered in red, there was a tiny pool of blood forming. I didn’t feel the pain. I barely noticed the blur in my eyes as my vision started to fade away. “You are bleeding. You are going to die,” He insisted. I looked at this face of doubt, and smiled. “My work here is done.”
************

Okay, you might be asking the crucial question at this point. What the hell am I trying to talk about, for starters. Well, the story starts with a very warm and sunny afternoon. Very lazy afternoon.
The day was extremely slow, and the sun was excruciatingly hot. We were heading for classes as usual (it’s a student’s life) and it was without a doubt going to be another boring session. Like most of the time, I was lost from the world thanks to my earphones.  I slowly took to the stairs dragging my feet when I heard a familiar voice behind my back. “Hey Sleeky, you are just going to pass me like that,” it was the repulsive voice of the boss lady Ms. Stella. Stella used to be a love interest until I saw the sinister side of hers (she was inches away to going to jail for murder, just because she found her boyfriend cheating). I had eventually changed the level of interest to casual friend.
“Sorry, I’m late for class,” I said as she gave me the predator-kind of look. To be honest, I was always afraid that I was in a relationship I didn’t really know of and since I didn’t want to really offend anyone, I never flinched when she made her advances, (sexual and otherwise) but I had been avoiding her for the past few weeks when she eventually got wind of my relationship. Yes, I was temporarily ‘engaged.’ This girl understood me; she knew more about myself than I did. And yes she knew about Stella too and tried to give me the courage to write her off. But things ended before we could even arrange a wedding. She went silent for good. I was worried, looking for her everywhere, but it all seemed like a short lived dream; like she was a figment of my imagination.
“I know you are afraid of me. I know you don’t love me. I just wanted to tell you that I have set you free. You shall no longer feel like a prisoner,” She said. Her voice was quaky. Her half smile was feigned. Did she really mean what she said?  “Look, I still owe you for helping me through my temper, plus you are a nice guy who deserves better,” those words felt real this time. My heart was at ease for a moment and I wouldn’t dare ask her anything lest she changed her mind.
She insisted we walk together upstairs. For the first time, I could see the face I first saw when I had an interest in her. I could feel the comfort in her presence. I felt peace. “I’m trying to work on my anger issues, Sleeky. I promise you’ll never feel the pain of coping up with me,’ she said. Suddenly I heard a whisper in the open breeze. The words were gibberish. I turned back. it was definitely not the group behind us; they were busy discussing match fixtures. By the time I was facing forward, Stella had already advanced to the balcony. She was standing on the rail. Our eyes met, and I saw the darkness cloud them. She was going to jump.
“No don’t!” I shouted running towards her but it was too late. It was a heavy thud followed by car alarms and screams from people below. I peered down and saw her lifeless body. Her beauty was covered in her own blood. Her eyes had turned pale and her mouth had the shriek of a person who had just seen a ghost. I was distraught. I was confused. I felt drowsy. I fainted.

                                          …………………………………………………………………………………

Church goer.


A moment in time when I used to be the regular church goer
Feeling the breath of hope from the word

My heart was replenished

I felt the Lion roar

And the smile of entering past the kingdom’s gate

A child’s dream of going into heaven

The soul that wasn’t blemished;
A moment in time when I used to be regular church goer,

Sunday school..the bright faces of sisters and brothers in Christ

Almost joined the choir

Even with my crowky voice; I still sung I’m a winner

Reciting the bible verses every Sunday

Memory verses; the John 3:16 in every situation

Simplicity in the complex of things

I was a member in God’s nation

The chosen few
A moment in time when I used to be the regular church goer

Did I really fathom the concept of being born again

Washed by the blood of Jesus Christ

The concept of finally seeing the light

Walking on the path that is right

The comfort of belonging

I was saved

I was born again

I had a place in the book of life

I was no longer a lost sheep
A moment in time when I used to be the regular church goer

I lost my faith when things went in a landslide

Drowned in the earthly temptations

The devil’s voice so enticing

I ended up imprisoning my soul in my own body

And the breath of life faded away

And oddly

I did not notice my change of heart

I took this life for granted

We are all a pawn and part

Of a bigger story

Yet the main characters don’t really exist

My heart’s at bay

The sun sets in my world of hope

The demons at night,

A moment when I used to be the regular church goer.
Paulo.

I hate depression.

​I hate depression,

You know,

It sucks you dry of happiness,

Happiness

It gouges out the eyes that see beauty in life

It’s a growing wound that doesn’t want to heal

Heal,

The heart grows weak

The concept of your mind is in an infinite darkness,

Being clawed by the very hands of evil
I hate depression,

Try to so hard to be happy

But what’s all this sadness in one song

The horrors in your dream

The silence that locks you up in the inside

You scream

But there’s no voice

The lack of impressions

Your face is blunt

I hate depression
I hate depression,

It kills the very confidence in you

You wish to be understood

But what do they care, they have their own problems,

But why do they feel like bloody brutes,

Lauging crows

They speak behind your back

Each word piercing your heart
Why can’t you breathe?

Why does your own hand choke your neck?
What’s all this darkness you see?

Why is there blood in your teeth?
Why does the boogie man watch you when you sleep?

Why does depression not want you to be free?
The moon is bleeding,

The roses are withering

I hate depression.
Sleeky.

Chemistry.

Do you want to escape the world,

Me and you, 

Together, aside all this continuous living,

Can we just freeze time,

Look into each other’s eyes forever

I see gold,

There’s only now, 

Just now

 To make a vow;

To stand and look for solace

Within each other,

That even with negative turns

We can always find peace 

In the piece of each other we have become,

Will you be my calm 

And I yours,

When the storms of life threaten to sweep us

We will have our feet swept already

To infinite happiness;

Can we dance

To rhythm of life

Not missing a step,

Because I have you covered

And you have me too,

Can we smile to ourselves

Even when times imply we are miles away,

Do you want to ecape the world 

Just you and me

In each others arms

A happy place for two

That’s you and me.
Nemo and Sleeky.

Like a Sinner.


Driving like a sinner,
Speed so high
You don’t want to miss dinner,
And the mushrooms cry

Since the grass seems to be greener,

Kiss Snow White,

Your soul gets stuck in a freezer,
Condemned mind,

For you lusted on young Gina
Young bright,

The future seems clearer
Deals of blood, sold hearts under the light,

Darkness awaits for you, sinner

You swore, and your word, it has to bind

But every heart you stole,you sucked them weaker,
And you are still driving like a sinner,

You don’t notice the tyres fly,
In this death race, you are a winner.

And your mouth lacks the final good bye
Paulo.

Love Story


This is our love story,

You’ve been asking for one for a long time,

But the belt gripping my feelings ,

Shadows me from the reality of our world,

Every chapter fashioned by the pen,

Wood pine

Your hands,are the touch of glory,
But you know my face,

You know the skeletons deep within,

Grumpy smiles that hide the fact that I’m a soul trapped in an endless loop of love and despair

You always tie my lace

But my feet are too slippery

Even with the blindness of my eyes,

The light in your heart is enough for me to see
I understand perfectly

Your wanting to get cleared about us completely

To have the whole picture

And have a definition of every feature

That entails our story

I don’t have all the answers 

But we can settle for solutions

And the pain

We won’t be left out from wars

It’s not everyday our sight of each other

Makes us tingle 

But together to another day shall we tangle
Nemo and Sleeky.
#Team pauletry

#pauletry friends

MY AFRICA-THE ONE YOU CHOOSE NOT TO SHOW.

Check this out guys

CENTURY OF HER TIME!

“Oh God of all creation,
Bless this our land and nation,
Justice be our shield and defender,
May we dwell in unity, peace and liberty,
Plenty be found within our borders.”

Well, that there is the Kenyan national anthem derived from a Pokomo lullaby. Pokomo is an ethnic community from Coastal Kenya. Kenya on the other hand, is a country in Africa (not a country within a country allow me to say) Africa has 54 other countries. That bit of information there seemed insignificant for a moment but actually, it is a greenstone because now you know Africa is not a country.

I am an African; I speak Kiswahili- a bantu language used as a lingua franca in East Africa because I am theoretically Kenyan; Moru- a central Sudanic language because it is my awakening and the window to my soul; Arabic- a lingua franca of the Arab world because…

View original post 447 more words